The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s love from head to heart for Christian professionals
Recently I have been looking back across my son’s life and grieving what I did not father the way I wish I had.
Not one moment. A long season of moments. Meetings I chose over presence. Fatigue I chose to nurse instead of push through. Times I was in the same room but not really there. I cannot get those years back. That grief is real and I am not going to numb it.
But sitting inside that grief, I keep bumping into a different reality. The Father was fathering him in every gap I did not close. Peace I did not bring. Softness I did not earn. Wisdom he received that did not come from me because I was not there to give it.
That is not a story about me finally getting it right. It is a story about a Father who did not stop fathering my son because I was faltering.
Repentance is sweet. When your heart softens, when the Holy Spirit shows you the exact place you missed, when you confess it and rise lighter, there is nothing like it.
But there is something even more staggering. It is when God covers you in a place you could not repent because you did not even know it was there.
That is the Fatherhood you are living inside every day of your life, and every day your children are living inside as well.
C.H.E.W. with Me
C — Clarity — Two kinds of grace
David saw it. “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14). God is not standing above your day waiting for you to catch every mistake. He is fathering you inside it, including the gaps you did not see.
The Christian high performer knows repentance. Repentance is on the resume. What is often missed is the second kind of grace, the one that shows up when you did not have the eyes to see the sin, and He covered it anyway.
Both are grace. But the second one keeps you humble in a way the first one cannot.
H — Hear — He knows our frame
The Christian high performer knows repentance. Repentance is on the resume. What is often missed is the second kind of grace, the one that shows up when you did not have the eyes to see the sin, and He covered it anyway.
Both are grace. But the second one keeps you humble in a way the first one cannot.
Sitting with the years I wish I had fathered differently, I see the second grace more than the first. My son is settled where I did not settle him. Peace where I had not brought it. Softness in his eyes I had not earned. “The steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children” (Psalm 103:17).
His love for my son was never conditional on my catching every gap. It is the reality that stands underneath every gap I could not close.
E — Exchange — Because He fathers in the gap
Because God’s love for you is a Father who covers in every gap you could not close, how does today change?
Because God fathers in the gap, the decision I got wrong last week is not the last word over what happens next. He was already at work inside my mistake.
Because God fathers in the gap, the parenting moment I missed at the dinner table is not going to become the shape of my child’s future. He is closer to their heart than I was.
Because God fathers in the gap, the anxious over-work I let run through Tuesday is not going to erase the good He is bringing out of the same week.
This is not a license to stop paying attention. It is the reason paying attention does not have to be white-knuckle. He is fathering while I am learning.
Because God’s love is fathering in the gaps you could not close today, what would you stop carrying that He is already carrying you through?
W — Walk — The evening review as your anchor
Anchor time: the evening review. Some people call it examen. Sit for two minutes before you sleep and ask God to show you the gap you did not see.
Say the verse. Ask the question. Because You have already fathered in that gap, what am I still trying to close on my own?
You will find yourself sleeping different. Not because the gap closed. Because you finally received that Someone else is closing it.
What is the anchor time tonight where you could receive God’s coverage, so the day ends inside His fathering instead of your review?
With you on the journey,
Ryan
CHEW on this today
Because God fathers you in the gaps you cannot fill, what would you stop carrying that He is already carrying you through?
Ryan writes these with AI to help him say it better. Read more →
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