Ryan Bailey
Ah, the much maligned multitasking. All leaders, whether they are faith-based or not – from pastors and ministry leaders to business leaders and professional service firms – doctors, lawyers, accountants, management consultants, financial consultants, other coaches and counselors – everybody is complaining about not having enough margin. They’re time-crunched and overwhelmed. It’s tough to get…
Usually I work much more on the marriage counseling side, but I’ve been getting a lot more calls from people fresh from a divorce.They are in shock. And in so much pain. Their spouse may have wanted the divorce, not them. Now they feel shame. They feel isolated and alone. They’re losing friends. They don’t…
I’ve been meeting with many clients about overcoming the emotional pain of divorce lately, so we thought I should talk about divorce-proofing a marriage as well. Most of our clients are Christians, and they take divorce seriously. We all know how painful (and expensive!) divorce is, so I encourage everyone: take your marriages seriously too! …
“We are all treading around, stumbling on each other’s toes as we are learning to love.” Sue Johnson To the injuring* partner, (*I use the word injuring to imply one who is or has inflicted pain on another, whether through infidelity, neglect, blame and criticism, or another form of relational hurt.) You need a safe…
“Everyone says that forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” C.S. Lewis To those who have felt betrayed by your spouse, specifically through an affair: You could be anywhere on this journey of betrayal. Maybe the waves of shock have passed, leaving remnants of confusion and pain. Maybe numbness has set…
For the past several months, I have been writing about the delicate balance between accountability, shame, and transformation. We have struggled to make sense of why our actions don’t change after inviting people in…seeking honest repentance…and beating ourselves up when we fail. We want to feel bad enough so our behaviors change, but in the…
“Nothing ever becomes real ’til it is experienced.” -John Keats Last spring, a friend and I went backpacking in North Carolina for several nights. We hiked a trail both of us were familiar with but decided to summit a small peak neither of us had done before off on a side trail. If you’ve been…
“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” – Cormac McCarthy If you’re new to this series, I’ve been exploring a “theology of emotions.” I’m going to conclude the series this month by looking at how to do all of this in a way that glorifies God while also helps…
“No feeling is final.” -Rainer Maria Rilke If you know me well, you know how much I love the band U2. If you want to hear me nerd-out to anything, U2 is probably where I get my “nerdiest.” When I was in 5th grade, I heard one of their songs on my sister’s mix tape…
“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” -C.G. Jung- Last month I began to explore why we have emotions by looking at how Jesus used his emotions as a gauge. Jesus used them as a gauge for how close he was to the Father – anger/sadness at the brokenness of the…