Counseling
“When I pronounce the word Silence,I destroy it.” -Wisława Szymborska I write a lot about vulnerability because we (I) struggle so much with not only figuring out how to do it, but how to do it consistently and authentically. During a therapy group this week I witnessed a man processing the loss of a relationship…
“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.”-George MacDonald I like being right. There’s a pride in it…it feels good…but I also like being right when I help people. I like when I correctly diagnose a problem, offer the right solution and watch someone get better because of it (I…
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“We must learn to regard people less in the light of whatdo or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer Last week, I had the opportunity to speak to a small group of professionals about vulnerability. I was one of 10 speakers and each one took a different angle…
“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” -Anne Frank “And just like that, I snapped…out of nowhere…I was so angry.” I would not consider myself a very angry person, but there have been times when it comes out and surprises me. The “out of nowhere” sentiment is meaningful to…
“Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels?” -Leo Tolstoy This week, a friend relayed to me some frustrations about being vulnerable. After sharing her thoughts and feelings authentically, she was caught off guard by the somewhat negative reaction of her peers. This is the funny thing about vulnerability: it doesn’t always…
“If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.” -Virginia Woolf “What are you hiding?” A friend said he was asked this question recently and we began discussing its merits. If you are like me, you probably read that with an accusatory tone in it. If I were to…
“But the Hebrew word, the word timshel – ‘Thou mayest’ – that gives a choice. It may be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’ – it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ -John Steinbeck I was listening to a patient*…
“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”-Brené Brown I had a therapist colleague this week challenge me in a way I was not expecting. After leading a…
I’m on vacation this week so this will be short… I like to read non-psychology related things when I have some time off. I came across this section in an essay by one of my favorite writers, Wendell Berry, about work that has really hit me hard this week: “Good human work honors God’s work.…