The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart for Christian Professionals
David and Joanie sit across from their marriage counselor, deflated. “We pray individually,” David says. “I have my quiet time in the morning. She does hers at night. We go to church every Sunday. But honestly? It feels like we’re just two people living parallel spiritual lives under the same roof. There’s no… connection.” Joanie nods, tearful. “I know he loves God. But we’ve never prayed together. We’ve never talked about what God’s doing in our hearts. I feel spiritually lonely in my own marriage.” For many Christian couples, this is the unspoken reality: individual faith that never becomes shared faith. They pray alone, read Scripture alone, and wrestle with God alone—missing the transformative power of connecting with God together. But here’s the surprise: research shows that couples who pray together experience dramatically stronger marriages—more trust, unity, forgiveness, intimacy, and satisfaction than those who don’t. And one of the most powerful ways couples can connect with God together is through CHEWing—a simple, daily practice that moves God’s love from head to heart, together.
Gospel Insight: God Works Transformation in Marriage When Couples Invite Him Into Their Relationship as a Daily Partner
God works transformation in marriage not just through individual faith, but through shared spiritual intimacy—inviting Him to be a daily partner in the relationship. “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18:20, ESV). When couples connect with God together, they experience a “gravitational pull” toward each other—drawn closer to one another as they draw closer to Him. Picture a triangle: Christ at the top, each spouse at a base corner. As each moves toward Christ, they simultaneously move closer to each other.
Surprise: Research shows that couples who pray together experience increased forgiveness, emotional and sexual fidelity, relational happiness, trust, unity, and conflict resolution. Praying together creates a “couple-God relationship triangle” where God becomes an active marriage advocate—softening hearts, shifting perspectives, and sanctifying the relationship. And CHEWing together provides a simple, structured way for couples to practice this daily spiritual intimacy—confessing honestly, hearing Scripture together, exchanging lies for truth, and walking in obedience side by side. When you CHEW together, you’re not just connecting with God individually—you’re connecting as one, inviting Him to transform your marriage from the inside out.
Let’s CHEW on this right now.
CHEW On This™ in 3–5 Minutes
- Confess (C): “Father, we confess we’ve been living parallel spiritual lives. We pray alone, read Scripture alone, and wrestle with You alone—missing the intimacy and power of connecting with You together. Help us see that our marriage thrives when we invite You into it daily, as a couple.”
- Hear (H): “Father, what Scripture do You want us to wrestle with right now?”
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18:20, ESV).
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, ESV).
God promises to be present when we gather in His name—and a marriage bound together with Him at the center is strong and unbreakable. - Exchange (E): “If we really believed God’s love is powerful enough to transform our marriage when we invite Him in together—that He delights in being our daily partner, not just our individual Savior—what would that do to our spiritual isolation and the distance we feel?”
Today, we give You our tendency to live parallel spiritual lives, and we receive Your invitation to connect with You together—as one, anchored in Your love. - Walk (W): “Holy Spirit, guide us to the next step that pleases You.”
Here’s the step we believe pleases You: This week, we’ll commit to CHEWing together at least three times. We’ll set aside 10 minutes to confess honestly, hear one Scripture together, exchange a lie for God’s truth, and take one step of obedience together.
How Couples Connect With God Together
1. Practice CHEWing Together Daily
CHEWing together is one of the most powerful ways couples can connect with God—moving His love from head to heart, together.
- What is CHEW? A simple, daily practice that helps you move God’s love from intellectual knowledge to felt experience: Confess honestly, Hear from Scripture, Exchange lies for truth, and Walk in obedience.
- Why CHEW together?
- It creates spiritual intimacy—you’re vulnerable with God and each other, sharing what’s really happening in your hearts.
- It invites God’s presence daily into your marriage—not just individually, but as a couple.
- It helps you move from parallel spiritual lives to shared faith—you’re wrestling with God together, not alone.
- It builds unity and trust—as you confess, exchange, and walk together, you grow closer to each other and to God.
- How to CHEW together:
- Set aside 10 minutes daily—morning or evening, choose a consistent time to CHEW together.
- Confess (C) together: Each spouse shares where they are spiritually—grateful, distracted, anxious, struggling with sin, feeling distant from God.
- Hear (H) from Scripture together: Read one passage aloud. Ask: “What is God saying to us through this?” Discuss what each person hears.
- Exchange (E) together: Identify one lie each of you is believing about God, yourselves, or your marriage. Exchange it for God’s truth: “If we really believed [God’s truth], how would that change how we love each other?”.
- Walk (W) together: Commit to one small step of obedience as a couple—pray for each other, serve each other, reach out to another couple, practice forgiveness.
2. Pray Together Daily—”Fire-Prevention Prayer”
Research shows that daily prayer is the most effective type of couple prayer—preventing problems before they escalate.
- What is “fire-prevention prayer”? Prayer that happens every day, addressing issues before they become serious. By asking God to intervene early, couples deal with problems proactively.
- Why daily prayer matters:
- It creates consistent spiritual intimacy between spouses and with God—translating positively into every other area of intimacy.
- It invites God as a daily partner in your relationship—not just in crises, but in everyday life.
- It softens hearts and shifts perspectives—helping you see your spouse and your circumstances through God’s eyes.
- It increases forgiveness, trust, unity, and conflict resolution.
- How to pray together daily:
- Keep it simple: 5-10 minutes before bed or first thing in the morning.
- Share prayer requests: Before you pray, each spouse shares what they’re grateful for, struggling with, or needing prayer for.
- Pray aloud together: Take turns praying, or pray simultaneously. Pray for each other’s needs, your marriage, your family, and God’s work in your lives.
- End with gratitude: Thank God for His presence, His love, and each other.
3. Practice “Fire-Extinguisher Prayer” During Conflict
When conflict arises, pause and pray together before it escalates.
- What is “fire-extinguisher prayer”? Prayer that happens during or just after a relational hot spot—laying down weapons and joining together in prayer instead of fighting.
- Why it works: It de-escalates emotions, softens anger, and helps couples remember their relationship—shifting focus from “I’m right” to “What does God want for us?”.
- How to do it:
4. Practice “Band-Aid Prayer” After Hurt
After a relational crisis, pray together to heal and confess.
- What is “band-aid prayer”? Prayer that happens after hurt—looking back at the event, confessing individual contributions to the problem, and seeking healing.
- Why it works: It creates space for forgiveness, empathy, and reconciliation—helping couples move forward instead of staying stuck in resentment.
- How to do it:
5. Read Scripture and Do Devotionals Together
Reading God’s Word together builds spiritual intimacy and unity.
- Why it matters: Scripture reveals God’s character and His design for marriage. When you read it together, you’re aligning your hearts with His truth.
- How to do it:
6. Read a Christian Book Together and Discuss
Reading Christian books together—whether theology, biography, or practical Christian living—deepens spiritual connection and sparks meaningful conversations.
- Why it works: Books give you a shared vocabulary and shared questions to wrestle with together. They expose you to new perspectives on faith, challenge you to grow, and create opportunities for deep spiritual conversation.
- How to do it:
- Choose a book together: Pick a Christian book you’re both interested in—theology, marriage, spiritual formation, biography, or practical Christian living.
- Read it aloud together: Some couples love when one spouse reads aloud while the other listens. If one of you has a background in acting or performance (like my wife, who used to be an actress), reading aloud can be particularly engaging—bringing the text to life by getting into character, using different voices, or emphasizing key points with expression.
- Discuss as you go: After each chapter, talk about what stood out to you. Ask: “What did this reveal about God? How does this challenge us? What’s one thing we can apply this week?”
- Make it a rhythm: Read together weekly—over coffee on Saturday mornings, or before bed on Sunday nights.
- Why reading aloud matters: When one spouse reads expressively, it draws the other in—making the content memorable and creating a shared experience. It’s intimate, engaging, and transforms reading from a solo activity into a couple’s practice.
7. Create a Worship Playlist and Listen Together
Music connects us to God emotionally and spiritually—and creating a shared worship playlist helps couples worship together in everyday moments.
- Why it works: Worship music reorients your hearts toward God, reminds you of His character, and creates an atmosphere of praise in your home and car. When you listen together, you’re sharing in worship—even if you’re just driving to the grocery store.
- How to do it:
- Create a shared playlist: Each spouse adds 5-10 of their favorite worship songs—songs that connect them to God, stir their hearts, or remind them of His faithfulness.
- Play it in the car: Make your commute or errands a time of shared worship. Sing along together, or just listen and let the music draw your hearts toward God.
- Play it at home: Put it on during breakfast, while cooking dinner, or while cleaning up. Let worship become the soundtrack of your everyday life.
- Talk about it: Occasionally, ask each other: “Why did you pick this song? What does it mean to you? How does it connect you to God?”
- Why shared playlists matter: Music bypasses our intellectual defenses and speaks directly to the heart. When you share songs that connect you to God, you’re giving each other a window into your spiritual life—and creating a shared worship experience that strengthens your bond.
8. Worship Together—At Church and At Home
Worshiping together—both in gathered worship and at home—connects you with God and each other.
- Gathered worship: Attend church together regularly. Worship side by side, receive Communion together, and participate in community.
- Home worship: Play worship music at home. Sing together. Thank God together for His blessings.
- Why it matters: Worship reorients your hearts toward God—reminding you that He is central to your marriage, not just an add-on.
9. Serve Together
Serving others as a couple strengthens your marriage and deepens your faith.
- Why it works: When you serve together—whether at church, in your community, or with your neighbors—you’re living out your faith side by side, becoming “stronger together”.
- How to do it:
10. Confess Sin and Practice Forgiveness Together
Spiritual intimacy requires vulnerability—confessing sin and practicing forgiveness.
- Why it matters: When you confess sin to each other and to God, you’re creating space for grace, forgiveness, and healing.
- How to do it:
What Happens When Couples Connect With God Together
1. You Experience Greater Unity and Trust
Research shows that praying together increases couple unity and trust—creating a stronger bond.
- Why? Because when you pray together, you’re affirming the depth of your connection and recognizing that God is your shared foundation.
2. You Become More Forgiving and Less Angry
Couples who pray together report more forgiveness, less anger, and better conflict resolution.
- Why? Prayer softens hearts, shifts perspectives to God’s meta-perspective, and helps couples remember they’ve been forgiven by God—so they forgive each other.
3. You Experience Greater Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
Praying together builds emotional intimacy—which translates into deeper physical and sexual intimacy.
4. You Feel Less Lonely and More Connected
Couples who connect with God together report feeling less spiritually lonely and more connected to each other.
- Why? Because you’re no longer living parallel spiritual lives—you’re sharing faith, wrestling with God together, and inviting Him into your everyday life as a couple.
5. Your Marriage Becomes a Testimony to Christ’s Love for the Church
When both spouses are drawing closer to God, your marriage reflects the Gospel—Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.
Worship Invitation
Thank God today that He invites you to connect with Him—not just individually, but as a couple. Worship Him by committing to CHEW together, pray together, read aloud together, create a shared worship playlist, and invite Him into every area of your marriage.
Community + Resources
Practice with others
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Every step remains prayerful and relational—God is the active subject, we receive and respond. Couples who connect with God together—through CHEWing, prayer, Scripture, reading Christian books aloud, creating shared worship playlists, and worship—experience transformation: greater unity, trust, forgiveness, intimacy, and a marriage that reflects Christ’s love for the church. Don’t settle for parallel spiritual lives. Invite God to be your daily partner, and watch Him transform your marriage from the inside out.
With you on the journey,
Ryan
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