The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart for Christian Professionals
Why Does This Hurt So Much?
You sit in church, hear “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son,” and instead of warmth you feel a knot in your stomach. If this is love, why does it sound like violence? If God loved Jesus perfectly, why did the cross have to be so brutal? And if the Father would do that to His own Son, how safe are you really?
One client put words to what many quietly feel: “It’s hard to feel the warmth of God’s love because He killed His Son.” That sentence lands like a punch. It exposes a deep fear: maybe God’s love is cold, abstract, or even twisted. Maybe love to God means using people—even His Son—for some bigger goal.
Underneath are real questions you may not have dared to say aloud:
- Does the cross mean the Father is harsh with the people He loves most?
- Is Jesus the loving one and the Father the angry one?
- If “perfect love” looks like a cross, does that mean pain is what God really wants for me too?
These are not small questions. They shape whether you feel safe with God, whether you can trust His heart, and whether His love can ever move from your head to your heart.
The Gospel Meets You Right Here
The Bible never describes the cross as a cold Father killing an unwilling Son. It describes Father, Son, and Spirit acting together in one united, unstoppable love.
The Father is not a distant executioner; He is the One who “did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all” in love for both His Son’s glory and your rescue. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32, ESV).
The Son is not a victim forced into a plan He hates. He freely, joyfully agrees with the Father’s will:
- “I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.” (John 10:17–18, ESV)
- “For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2, ESV).
What does God’s love for Jesus look like at the cross?
- The Father loves the Son as the One who gladly carries out the rescue mission and then is exalted above every name.
- The Son loves the Father by saying, “Your will, not mine,” and is rewarded with unending joy and honor.
- The Spirit loves Father and Son by empowering Jesus in His suffering and applying that finished work to you.
The cross is not a father abusing a son; it is God giving God to God, for you—a love within the Trinity so deep that it spills over to include you.
Here’s the surprising way God’s love changes the story:
- The cross shows that Jesus is the beloved Son, trusted with the most important task in history, not discarded as expendable.
- The Father’s love for Jesus is seen in raising Him, vindicating Him, and giving Him the name above every name (Philippians 2:8–11).
- That same love now pulls you into the family, so that Jesus prays, “you… loved them even as you loved me.” (John 17:23, ESV).
The lie: “God’s love uses people, even Jesus, as tools and could crush me too.”
The truth: God’s love is self-giving, united, costly love inside the Trinity that brings you in—not love against Jesus, but love with Jesus, for you.
This isn’t sentimental warmth. It is fierce, covenant love that costs God everything and gives you a place in the very love the Father has always had for the Son.
CHEW On This™: When God’s Love for Jesus Feels Scary
Pause at each CHEW step below. Reflect, and answer in your own words—you’ll see a sample below each question. This is where the Gospel gets personal.
Confess
Question: What are you feeling, fearing, or hiding from God right now about His love and the cross?
Sample answer: “Honestly, I’m disturbed that You ‘gave’ Your Son. It sounds harsh and makes me afraid You could turn on me too. I feel scared that I don’t understand Your love and that I might be misreading who You really are.”
Take a moment—how would you answer?
Hear
Question: What does God’s Word say about His love and verdict in this area?
Sample answer: “‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son’ (John 3:16, ESV) and ‘I lay down my life…No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord’ (John 10:17–18, ESV). I hear that the Father loved the world and the Son loves the Father and me so much that they agreed together on the cross as a plan of rescue, not cruelty.”
What promise from God do you need to hear?
Exchange
Question: If I truly trusted God’s love is self-giving, united love—that the Father and the Son together chose the cross to bring me into their shared joy—how would that shift how I see God’s heart, Jesus’ role, and my safety with Him right now?
Sample answer: “If I believed the cross was the Father honoring the Son and the Son willingly loving the Father and me, I’d stop picturing a harsh God abusing Jesus. I’d see a united rescue. I could trust that God’s love for me is as secure as His love for Jesus, not a trap waiting to crush me.”
Let this sink in—what changes in you?
Walk
Question: What is one practical step (10 minutes or less) that embodies trust in this kind of love instead of old images of a cruel or distant God?
Sample answer: “Tonight, I’ll slowly read John 17:20–26 and underline every place Jesus talks about the Father’s love for Him and for me. I’ll write one sentence: ‘The Father loves me as He loves Jesus,’ and sit quietly with that instead of arguing with it.”
What’s one step you can take this week?
Ways to Experience God’s Love for Jesus—and for You
Here’s how you can actively trust and experience God’s love—not just work harder.
1. Picture the Trinity Together at the Cross, Not Just the Father “Killing” the Son
Why this helps: It reframes the cross from divine child abuse to united, self-giving love, moving God’s love from something you fear to something you can rest in.
How: When you think of the cross, intentionally picture:
- The Father loving the world and entrusting the mission to His beloved Son.
- The Son willingly stepping forward, saying, “I lay down my life.”
- The Spirit strengthening Jesus and later applying that finished work to your heart.
Scenario: You feel a shudder during a Good Friday sermon. Instead of shutting down, you whisper, “Father, Son, and Spirit—You chose this together for love. Help me trust that.”
Scripture: John 10:17–18, John 3:16
2. Let Jesus Tell You How the Father Loves Him
Why this helps: Hearing Jesus talk about His Father corrects your mental picture and lets you share His experience of the Father’s love.
How: Spend time in passages where Jesus speaks about the Father (John 5, 10, 14–17). Highlight every phrase where He describes the Father’s love, joy, and unity with Him.
Scenario: You’re tempted to think, “The Father is cold.” You open John 17:24–26, hear Jesus say the Father loved Him “before the foundation of the world,” and realize your imagination has not matched the Jesus of Scripture.
Scripture: John 17:23–26
3. Connect the Father’s Love for Jesus to His Love for You
Why this helps: It moves love from abstract “God loves everybody” to specific, shared love: you are brought into the same love the Father has for His Son.
How: Pray John 17:23 slowly: “You… loved them even as you loved me.” When fear rises, respond, “Father, Your love for me follows the pattern of Your love for Jesus.”
Scenario: After failure, you assume God is disgusted with you. You write on a card, “Loved as Jesus is loved,” and hold it as you confess, agreeing with God’s verdict instead of your own disgust.
Scripture: John 17:23
4. Let the Resurrection Answer the Question, “Was the Cross Cruel?”
Why this helps: The resurrection shows the Father did not discard Jesus; He exalted Him. The cross is not the final word; vindication is.
How: When you think “He killed His Son,” complete the story: “He raised Him, glorified Him, and gave Him the name above every name.”
Scenario: You hear someone say, “God killed His Son,” and your heart tenses. You respond inwardly, “And then He raised Him and crowned Him.” Your mental image shifts from a dead victim to a reigning King delighted by His Father.
Scripture: Philippians 2:8–11, Acts 2:23–24
5. Ask the Spirit to Warm What Your Mind Knows But Your Heart Fears
Why this helps: Only the Spirit moves love from head to heart; this isn’t an intellect-only issue.
How: Turn Romans 5:5 into a daily prayer: “Holy Spirit, pour God’s love into my heart—especially in the places still afraid of the Father.”
Scenario: You’re doing CHEW and feel numb. Instead of forcing emotion, you pause and pray, “Spirit, show me the Father’s love for the Son and for me.” Over time, small moments of tenderness begin to break through.
Scripture: Romans 5:5
6. Rewrite the Lie That Sacrifice Is Always Abusive
Why this helps: In a world with real abuse, sacrifice can look dangerous. The cross shows self-chosen sacrifice within trust and joy, not exploitation.
How: Where your story includes manipulative “sacrifice” (“I hurt you because I love you”), name that as sinful distortion. Contrast it with Jesus’ willing, joyful sacrifice and the Father’s justice and tenderness.
Scenario: You remember times someone used “love” as a cover for harm. You tell God, “That was evil; that is not who You are.” You then read Isaiah 53 and see the Servant bearing sin willingly, not as a pawn, but as a beloved Redeemer.
Scripture: Isaiah 53:4–6
7. Talk About Your Discomfort with Trusted People
Why this helps: Voice-to-voice, eye-to-eye conversations often become places where God’s love is experienced, not just thought about.
How: Share honestly with a mature believer, “The cross feels scary to me—like the Father is dangerous. Can we talk and pray about that?”
Scenario: In a CHEW group, you admit, “I struggle with the idea that God ‘killed His Son.’” Others confess similar thoughts. Together you read Romans 8 and pray, and for the first time you feel less alone in the struggle.
Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25
8. Use Worship That Highlights the Father’s Delight in the Son
Why this helps: Singing and praying the truth trains your heart to feel what your mind is learning.
How: Choose songs and prayers that celebrate the Father’s love for the Son and the Son’s joy in the Father (“Before the Throne of God Above,” “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us,” etc.), listening for the tone of love, not just the language of sacrifice.
Scenario: During worship, instead of zoning out, you consciously agree with the words about the Father’s love and Jesus’ obedience, picturing a shared smile between Father and Son—not a scowl.
Scripture: Matthew 3:17 – “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
If these steps still leave you unsettled, processing with a gospel-centered counselor or pastor can be a powerful next move. God often deepens understanding of His love through patient teaching, safe relationships, and time.
Worship Response: Speak Back to the God Who Gave and Raised His Son
Take 30 seconds—thank God for what His love has done. Worship is responding to His finished work, even when your feelings lag behind.
Prayer:
“Father, thank You that the cross was not You cruelly using Jesus, but You and Your Son and Spirit working together to bring me into Your love. Thank You for exalting Jesus, not discarding Him, and for loving me with that same love. Help me rest in this today, especially where I still feel afraid. Amen.”
Next Steps to Grow in God’s Love
Lasting change is always relational—God moves, we respond. Share your story, join a CHEW group, or reach out for prayer.
- Reignite Your Faith With CHEW
- Raw Prayer: When Faith Gets Honest and God Gets Real
- When Your Heart Holds Something Against God
With you on the journey,
Ryan
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