The Daily CHEW™
Chew on God’s Love. Live Transformed. Multiply Hope.
Last week, a belt got looser and—surprisingly—that’s when the old cravings crept in. Here’s the honest side of my journey: after over three months of using the CHEW framework day and night (and seeing changes, not only in me but also in the high-performing men and women I serve), a setback still tripped me up. It hit after a win, not a wound: noticing my face was thinner on Zoom, needing a new belt, experiencing an upward swing. But instead of celebrating, I crashed back into well-worn patterns with food. The “return to old comforts” surprised me and, if you’re a Christian founder, leader, or high performer, maybe it rings true for you too.
Why Some Strongholds Outlast Even Your Strongest Habits
Maybe your world is marked by discipline, external success, and a hunger for honest growth. You welcome real feedback and know how to keep your identity rooted in Christ, not just in results. Maybe shame rarely drives you or maybe you are learning not to let it drive you. Yet—in every high performer’s story—there are a few stubborn strongholds that resist the usual strategies. For me, weight has been oddly protective: part trauma, part biology, part self-protection. Even with a robust growth mindset, I can fall into “orphan mode”—where time pressure, fatigue, or some deep attachment script drowns out my best intentions.
If you ever noticed how one area remains curiously unyielding—despite many, many other areas being “under control”—consider this: core beliefs are rarely overruled by intelligence, ambition, or even decades of achievement. They are formed in places of pain, need, and warped security, and they embed themselves so deeply that the “urge to return” can flare up when positive change starts to take root. Sometimes, losing the weight or making the breakthrough feels more threatening than the old pattern ever did.
What’s Really Driving the Setback? (It’s Deeper Than Willpower)
Scripture and brain science agree: we don’t just act on what we know, but on what we most deeply believe will keep us safe or whole. For me, being “big” grew into a shield—a way to feel safe in the world, especially after old wounds or trauma. The brain learns to associate that habit with a form of protection, even if the rest of your life is marked by faith and healthy risk.
What’s beneath the surface for you? If your setbacks follow surprising moments of progress or breakthrough, it’s a clue your deep-down belief about security, value, or love is being challenged—right as God’s love is actually bearing fruit.
For high performers, the real “return home” is less about fixing the behavior and more about receiving what’s truly on offer: God’s love that says, your worth, safety, and delight are established in Jesus—not in the comfort, success, or control you reach for in the dark (read more about core beliefs and the quiet engine driving change).
CHEW Reset—How Returning to God’s Love Dismantles Strongholds (Even for Leaders Who “Have It Together”)
Let’s do the honest work together—no heroic striving, just real return.
Take three breaths. God’s love is present here and now—whether today’s tally was a win or a setback.
Adore: “Father, You love me right now—before another success, while I’m still tangled in old habits.”
Confess: “What’s truly surfacing? For me, behind the food isn’t shame, it’s fear—maybe of change, maybe of what life feels like without my old shield.” Name your core driver (Security? Value? Enjoyment?)—diagnostic tool here.
Hear: Scripture meets us in the precise crevices of old scripts:
- “The Lord is my stronghold… he delivers me from all my fears” (Psalm 27:1).
- “Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ…” (Romans 8:39).
- “You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4).
Find a promise tailored to your stuck place.
Exchange:
If I really believed God’s love is unyielding and safe (a strong tower, Proverbs 18:10), how would that change my need to run to old comforts? What if God is actually dismantling the “false safety” by establishing a greater security in Him?
Confess where the idol of “comfort” or “control” gets exchanged for the rock-solid reality of being kept eternally in Christ.
Walk:
What’s one move toward a new script today? Maybe it’s reaching out to your triad instead of your trigger, naming the fear or gratitude out loud instead of eating it away, or taking Communion to anchor your return instead of tallying your performance.
Thanksgiving & Worship:
Thank God He measures progress by every honest return—not just by “victory.” His love is the real win, and He is delighted by your presence more than your perfection.
Leaving the Stronghold: What’s My Way Forward?
For leaders and high performers, the most disciplined rhythms can break down around the deepest wounds. Here’s what I’m learning:
- Even if you’re not driven by external shame, you can still be locked by a core belief that needs God’s love—and community—more than another strategy.
- The “setback” isn’t a failure; it’s fertile ground where the Gospel moves your security from self-protection to Christ-protection (read how this shift happens in real life).
- Forgiveness—sometimes even self-forgiveness around your story with food, or your old idol—is often the root pathway out (see 10 proven strategies for high performers here).
- Don’t go solo. Even high-capacity founders need Gospel community, not just “resolve.” Why you can’t CHEW alone.
Above all, every honest return to God’s love—especially when a stronghold flares—is celebrated in heaven. That’s what reshapes not just your weight or your habits, but your heart.
Remember: Growth isn’t about making every area of life “as disciplined as the rest.” It’s about learning that God delights to meet us right where the stronghold remains stubborn. Every honest return to Him is a Gospel win. Even setbacks, in His hands, become the doorway to deeper freedom.
CHEW On This™:
If I really believed God’s love is *my strongest stronghold—unyielding, steady, and full of delight—how would that change the way I respond to old habits, protect myself, or seek comfort in this season?
With you for the journey,
Ryan
Select Resources
- What Are Core Beliefs? The Quiet Engine Behind Growth, Healing, and Hope
- SALVES: Discovering and Redeeming the Core Drivers of Every Heart
- God’s Love: The Surprising Source of Sustainable Discipline and Real Change
- Rewiring the Mind: Chewing on God’s Love for True Transformation
- The Forgiveness Advantage: 10 Proven Strategies High Performers Use to Forgive—and Why They Work
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