The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart for Christian Professionals
Why This Matters for You
You know how to push through. When the numbers miss, when the conflict at home flares, when the diagnosis lands, you grit your teeth and keep going because people depend on you. On the outside, you look composed; on the inside, it feels like something is quietly breaking. You might pray—but mostly quick, functional prayers: “Help me get through this meeting…Give me wisdom for this decision.” What you rarely say is, “Father, this hurts so much.”
Deep down, you may worry that if you were really mature, you’d feel calmer, less rattled, more grateful. So you edit your emotions before bringing them to God. You tell yourself, “Others have it worse,” or, “I should know better by now,” and your heart slowly starts to shut down—not only toward Him, but toward the people closest to you. You become more irritable, less patient, more easily disconnected at home and at work.
The 1st Principle framework describes suffering as an arena “where God’s love and resilient hope are tested and proven,” not a place where His love disappears. Lament is one of the primary ways that happens. In Scripture, lament is not unbelief; it is faith talking in pain. It assumes covenant love: you cry out precisely because you trust there is a Father who hears, cares, and has bound Himself to you in Jesus. Learning to lament keeps your heart engaged with God instead of going numb—and that engagement, over time, softens how you show up with your spouse, kids, friends, team, and church.
The Gospel Meets You Right Here
Lament only makes sense if God’s love is already committed. The framework you use starts here: “Every step of true transformation begins, proceeds, and ends in the steadfast love of God,” a love “made fully known in the person and work of Jesus Christ and received by believing the Gospel.” In Christ, you are not an employee reporting up the chain; you are a beloved child whose Father has pledged Himself to you in a covenant sealed with the blood of His Son.
That means when you say, “How long, O Lord?” you are not shouting into a void; you are speaking to the same Father whose mercies “never come to an end…they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23, ESV). The framework emphasizes that “suffering does not separate us from love but deepens our dependence on it” (Romans 8:35–39, ESV). Lament is one way dependence sounds. You bring confusion, grief, anger, and fear into the presence of a Love that will not move away.
Here’s the surprising way God’s love changes this story: lament is not you trying to convince God to care; it is the Holy Spirit “comforting us when wounded” and “making God’s love personal” by drawing your real pain into honest conversation with a faithful Father. Rather than shutting down, you stay relationally engaged—naming not only sin and idols, but also wounds and losses—“in the safe light of the Gospel.”
As you lament, you love God more honestly: no longer relating to Him as a boss you must impress, but as a Father you can trust with tears. That honesty then flows outward. When God meets you in your own lament, you become more patient with others’ weakness, more willing to sit with their grief instead of rushing to fix it, and more able to respond with concrete care in families, churches, and teams. Healing, growth, and strategic clarity emerge as byproducts of hearts that remain engaged with God in the dark instead of going cold.
CHEW On This™: Practice Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart
Pause at each CHEW step below. Reflect, and answer in your own words—you’ll see a sample below each question. This is where the Gospel gets personal.
Confess
Question:
What are you feeling, fearing, or hiding from God right now in your pain (and how is that affecting the way you relate to others)?
Sample answer:
“I feel exhausted and disappointed. I’ve prayed about this situation for months, and it seems like nothing is changing. Part of me is afraid God has quietly decided not to come through, so I’ve stopped bringing it up with Him. Because of that, I’m more sarcastic with my spouse, less present with my kids, and pretty checked out emotionally with my team—I’d rather just power through than let anyone see how discouraged I am.”
Prompt:
Take a moment—where do you see yourself in this?
Hear
Question:
What does God’s Word say about His love and presence in your suffering (or what Scriptural truth comes to mind)?
Sample answer:
“I remember that ‘suffering does not separate us from love but deepens our dependence on it’ and that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35–39, ESV). The framework also reminds me that trials are ‘arenas where God’s love and resilient hope are tested and proven,’ not proof that His love withdrew. That changes how I see my pain: it’s a place where my Father is present, not absent—and it reminds me that the people around me are also carrying pain where God intends to meet them.”
Prompt:
What Scripture or truth about God’s covenant love speaks into your specific sorrow right now?
Exchange
Question:
If I really believed God’s love is steadfast, covenant love—that my Father is holding me in this and using lament to keep my heart close—how would that change the way I carry this pain and the way I treat others today?
Sample answer:
“If I believed that, I’d stop pretending I’m okay and stop assuming God is disappointed every time I feel overwhelmed. I would see my tears as an invitation to talk with Him, not a sign I’m failing. Emotionally, I’d feel less pressure to keep it together and more freedom to be honest with a few trusted people. With others, I’d be slower to judge their reactions and quicker to offer patient presence, because I’d know God is meeting them in their pain too.”
Prompt:
If you believed this deeply, what would change—in you and in how you treat the people closest to you?
Walk
Question:
What is one practical step (10 minutes or less) that embodies lament in the arms of love instead of shutting down—and helps you love someone in front of you better?
Sample answer:
“Tonight, I’ll take 10 minutes alone to tell God honestly what hurts about this situation—using my own words and maybe a lament psalm—and then I’ll ask Him to remind me of one truth about His love. After that, I’ll share one simple sentence with my spouse about what I’m feeling, and I’ll ask how they’re really doing too, so we carry this together instead of suffering in silence.”
Prompt:
What’s your next move?
Ways to Experience God’s Love (Real-World Strategies That Change Your Heart)
Here’s how you can actively trust and experience God’s love—not just work harder.
1. Learn the Pattern of Biblical Lament
Why this helps:
Scripture shows a common pattern in many laments: turn to God, bring complaint, ask boldly, choose to trust. This pattern assumes covenant love—you complain to a Father who has committed Himself to you. Practicing it keeps your heart talking to God instead of drifting into numbness or cynicism, and it softens how you respond to others’ pain.
How:
- Choose one lament psalm (e.g., Psalm 13 or 42).
- Note the movements: honest pain, bold request, renewed trust.
- Use that pattern in your own words about a current situation.
Scenario:
After a difficult medical update, you sit in your car and quietly pray through Psalm 13, echoing, “How long, O Lord?” and ending with, “I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me” (Psalm 13:6, ESV). You go home more honest and less brittle.
What outcomes you can expect:
Over time, bringing complaint to God feels less like failure and more like faith. Your willingness to sit with others in their laments, without fixing or minimizing, grows.
2. Connect Lament to God’s Covenant Promises
Why this helps:
The framework emphasizes that transformation is “always a journey further into God’s love” and that nothing can separate you from that love in Christ. When you tie your lament to specific promises—His steadfast love, His nearness to the brokenhearted, His commitment in Christ—it reinforces that you are crying out within a secure relationship, not begging a distant deity to notice you.
How:
- Write down one present sorrow in a sentence or two.
- Under it, write one promise about God’s love (e.g., Romans 8:39, Lamentations 3:22–23, Psalm 34:18).
- Turn the combination into a prayer: “Because You have promised ____, here is how I come to You with this pain.”
Scenario:
You write, “I am afraid this conflict will never heal,” under which you write, “Your mercies are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22–23, ESV). Your prayer becomes, “Because Your mercies are new, I bring You this fear again and ask for help.”
What outcomes you can expect:
You increasingly see lament as anchored, not free-floating. This steadiness shows up in relationships as less panic and more patience when situations take time to resolve.
3. Use CHEW as a Lament Framework
Why this helps:
CHEW—Confess, Hear, Exchange, Walk—is “a belief-transforming rhythm saturated with God’s love,” useful not only for sin and idols but also for processing wounds and pain. Using CHEW to structure lament keeps you from either venting without hope or bypassing emotion with quick truth. It also creates a pattern you can share with others.
How:
- Take one painful situation through CHEW, focusing especially on Confess (what hurts) and Hear (what God says about His love and presence).
- In Exchange, consider what believing His faithful love would shift.
- In Walk, choose one small act of trust or connection.
Scenario:
You process a leadership disappointment with a trusted friend using CHEW. You confess your grief and anger, hear again that nothing can separate you from God’s love, exchange the belief “I am abandoned” for “I am held,” and walk by having one gracious follow-up conversation instead of cutting ties.
What outcomes you can expect:
Your laments become more honest and more hope-filled. People around you feel invited into a safe, structured way to process their own pain.
4. Bring Lament into the Ordinary Means of Grace
Why this helps:
The framework teaches that God’s love grows through “prayer, the hearing of Scripture, worship, the sacraments…and life in the local church,” and that in suffering these means help us “embody hope and patience, practicing concrete love like lament, prayer for healing, presence, or practical care.” Integrating lament into these ordinary practices keeps your pain connected to God and His people, not isolated.
How:
- In corporate worship, allow yourself to sing or listen as someone who is grieving, not pretending.
- Before the Lord’s Supper, silently name your sorrow and hear Christ’s words as spoken into that place.
- In community, occasionally share a short lament request rather than a polished update.
Scenario:
At church after a rough week, instead of staying surface-level, you ask your small group, “Can we lament together about this situation?” The group prays with you and for you, modeling covenant love back to you.
What outcomes you can expect:
You feel less alone, and your church/family/team culture becomes more honest and more compassionate. Over time, others know they can bring their pain without being fixed or shamed.
5. Name the SALVES Driver Behind Your Tears
Why this helps:
The SALVES framework shows how deep drivers—Security, Acceptance, Love, Value, Enjoyment, Significance—sit beneath our emotional reactions, and the document explicitly points to “SALVES Discovering and Redeeming the Core Drivers of Every Heart” as a key resource. Naming which driver your lament touches helps you see how God’s love is meeting specific heart needs, and it keeps you from turning inward in self-pity instead of upward in relational prayer.
How:
- When you feel overwhelmed, ask, “Which driver is most activated—Security, Acceptance, Love, Value, Enjoyment, or Significance?”
- Read the SALVES overview: https://1stprinciplegroup.com/salves-discovering-and-redeeming-the-core-drivers-of-every-heart
- Optionally, walk through the SALVES assessment template for deeper clarity: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1UfRC17ELRYgitKzQ-wyDwbgxp6vXgMlQEHp9E9btG7M/copy
- Turn what you discover into a brief lament: “Father, this hurts because ____. Meet me with Your ____ here.”
Scenario:
You realize your grief over a lost opportunity is really about Significance. You lament, “Father, it hurts that this role closed; I feel small and overlooked. Remind me that in Christ I am created for good works and precious in Your sight.”
What outcomes you can expect:
Lament becomes more targeted and more deeply connected to the Gospel. You grow more empathetic when others’ tears surface, recognizing the drivers beneath their pain.
6. Practice “10-Minute Lament Walks” Instead of Numbing Out
Why this helps:
The framework warns against self-protective walls and numbing that arise when wounds and shame make God’s love seem distant. Choosing to lament for even 10 minutes instead of escaping into screens, work, or fantasy keeps your heart engaged with God and preserves capacity to be present with others.
How:
- When you feel the urge to escape, take a 10-minute walk alone.
- Speak honestly to your Father about what hurts—no editing.
- End by thanking Him for one aspect of His faithfulness, even if the feelings lag.
Scenario:
Instead of staying late again just to avoid going home to tension, you walk the parking lot and say, “Father, it’s hard to face this conflict. I’m afraid of more rejection. Please be with me as I go home.” You arrive less shut down and more able to listen.
What outcomes you can expect:
Your default coping moves slowly from numbing and withdrawal to honest engagement. Your relationships feel more seen, cared for, and less collateral damage to your stress.
7. Lament with Others, Not Just for Yourself
Why this helps:
The framework emphasizes that “God’s love nowhere remains private—it overflows in families, congregations, teams, and organizations,” and that love in community includes “bearing burdens,” lament, and practical care. Sharing lament with others turns your experience of God’s faithful love outward, growing compassion and unity.
How:
- Ask one trusted friend or family member, “Can we pray a short lament together about what you’re going through?”
- Use simple language: name the pain, ask for help, affirm God’s faithfulness.
- Listen afterward for ways you can offer concrete support.
Scenario:
A colleague shares about a family crisis. Instead of offering only advice, you say, “Can we take a minute to bring this to our Father?” You pray, “Lord, this hurts. Please comfort and act. We trust Your love even when we can’t see what You’re doing.”
What outcomes you can expect:
Relationships deepen as people experience you as safe in sorrow. A culture of honest, God-directed lament replaces quiet isolation and superficial positivity.
Worship Response: Turn Gratitude into Worship
Take 30 seconds—thank God for what His love has done. Worship is responding to His finished work, even when your feelings lag behind.
Father, thank You that Your steadfast love does not evaporate in our pain, but holds us, hears us, and invites us to speak honestly to You. Thank You that in Christ, suffering is not a sign that You have abandoned us, but an arena where Your faithful love and resilient hope are tested and proven. Teach us to lament as beloved children, keeping our hearts engaged with You instead of shutting down. From that place, help us to love others better—to sit with their sorrow, to bear their burdens, and to point them to the arms of the same faithful Father who carries us.
Next Steps to Grow in God’s Love
Lasting change is always relational—God moves, we respond. Share your story, join a CHEW group, or reach out for prayer.
- “SALVES: Discovering and Redeeming the Core Drivers of Every Heart”
https://1stprinciplegroup.com/salves-discovering-and-redeeming-the-core-drivers-of-every-heart
Helps you understand the deep Security/Acceptance/Love/Value/Enjoyment/Significance drivers under your lament so you can experience God’s love more precisely and love others with wiser compassion. - “SALVES Assessment Template (Google Sheets)”
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1UfRC17ELRYgitKzQ-wyDwbgxp6vXgMlQEHp9E9btG7M/copy
A practical tool to map your core drivers and see how your pain points connect to deeper longings that God’s covenant love is already addressing in Christ. - “Clarity CHEW: Processing Emotions, Decisions, and Gratitude”
https://1stprinciplegroup.com/clarity-chew-processing-emotions-decisions-and-gratitude
Offers a guided CHEW that helps you name emotions before God, hear His love, and walk forward with wiser, more compassionate responses.
With you on the journey,
Ryan
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