The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart for Christian Professionals
Why This Hurts So Much
You’ve seen things that should not happen in a sane world.
The abuse that never should have started. The betrayal that shattered your marriage. The diagnosis that blindsided your family. The news story that makes you wonder if anyone is steering this universe at all. You know, in theory, that God is good and sovereign, but your heart keeps asking, “Then why did this happen?”
Maybe you’ve tried to push those questions down because “good Christians don’t doubt God.”
Or you’ve gone the other direction—numbing out, getting busier, staying late at the office, scrolling more, drinking more, anything to avoid replaying the worst moments. On Sunday, you say the words, “God is in control,” but on Tuesday at 11:30pm, your chest is tight and your mind is racing, and that sentence feels like a cruel riddle, not comfort.
Deep down, you don’t just want a logical answer; you want a God you can actually trust with the worst parts of your story. You want to know: Is He just “allowing” atrocities from a distance, or is He somehow personally involved, wise, and loving in a way my brain can’t yet grasp? And if His reasons are too “big” for me, does that mean my pain doesn’t matter?
This is the head-to-heart gap: you know verses about God’s sovereignty, but your heart still flinches when you think of trusting Him again in real life—especially for people you love. If God’s love could move from concept to lived experience here, you’d be less defensive with your spouse, more compassionate with struggling coworkers, and more free to show up as a non-anxious, courageously loving presence in a broken world.
How God’s Love Meets You Here
The Bible never pretends suffering is light or trivial. It calls evil evil, and it shows a Savior who steps into our suffering, not around it. Yet at the same time, Scripture insists that God is never surprised, never at a loss, and never indifferent. “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” (Romans 11:33, ESV). God’s wisdom is not just bigger data; it’s a different category.
Here’s the lie many of us carry: “If I don’t understand why God allowed this, He must not be good—or I must not matter to Him.”
The truth is harder and better: God’s love and wisdom are so far beyond us that trying to grasp all His reasons is like trying to teach Calculus to a golden retriever. He really does know every ripple effect of every event across all time, every person, every prayer, every choice—seen and unseen—and He is weaving them toward a story more beautiful and just than we can imagine.
Sometimes, God withholds the “why” because the real relationship He wants with you requires trust muscles, not just answer-collecting. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5, ESV). Notice: He doesn’t say your understanding is useless; He says it’s not the foundation. Instead, He invites you to lean your full weight on His character, especially when your understanding hits its ceiling.
Here’s the surprising way God’s love changes this story: the same God who allows what He hates, in order to accomplish what He loves, is the God who gave His own beloved Son to suffer the worst evil in history for your rescue. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32, ESV). At the cross, God proved that He will allow unspeakable horror to Himself before He ever becomes careless with you.
If you loved with God’s love, saw what He sees, and cared as much for holiness, justice, and eternal joy as He does, you would allow exactly what He allows—even when it involves your own deep pain. That doesn’t mean you’d feel okay about it in the moment, but you would agree with Him that this is the best road to the best possible forever.
As this reality moves from head to heart, it draws you into worship: “Lord, I don’t get it—but I trust that You do, and that You love me like You love Jesus.” That trust frees you to love others better: instead of trying to control their outcomes, you can walk with them, weep with them, and point them to a God whose wisdom and love are bigger than both your understanding and your fear. Healing, growth, and even strategic clarity then flow as fruit of a deeper, lived relationship with Him—not as the main prize.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
When you’re carrying unanswered “why” questions, they tend to show up in consistent patterns.
In yourself, this can look like:
- Inner talk: “If God really cared, He would never have allowed that,” “I’ll trust God with small stuff, but not with my kids, marriage, or career.”
- Behaviors: Overcontrolling schedules and people, overworking to outrun grief, or numbing out with screens, substances, or constant noise.
- Patterns: Pulling back from prayer when things hurt more, avoiding certain Scriptures or worship songs because they trigger anger or confusion, dismissing other people’s pain with clichés because you’re afraid to face your own.
- Typical reactions: Either shutting down emotionally (“It is what it is”) or exploding in private accusation (“Where were You?”) with a layer of shame for even asking.
In others, this often shows up as:
- Quiet cynicism about “God’s plan,” especially from smart, capable professionals who feel burned.
- Bitter humor or sarcasm when spiritual hope is mentioned.
- Hidden panic in parents, leaders, or spouses who feel they must control everything because they can’t trust God with the outcomes.
- Distance from Christian community, replaced by hyper-focus on career, fitness, or “just keeping the family afloat.”
God’s love reorients each of these categories not by minimizing the suffering, but by reframing who is actually carrying the weight. When you remember that God has already proven His commitment to you at the cross and that His wisdom is light-years beyond your own, your inner talk can shift from “Why did You do this to me?” to “Lord, I don’t understand, but I know Your heart toward me is the same heart that gave Jesus.” That kind of trust doesn’t erase grief; it gives you Someone safe to grieve with.
As His love settles deeper, you become less controlling and more present. You can listen to a spouse’s or coworker’s pain without rushing to fix or explain it. You can stand near injustices with courage, doing what you can in your sphere, while refusing the lie that everything depends on you. God’s love in His sovereignty moves from an abstract doctrine to a lived posture of humble, courageous trust.
CHEW On This™: Practice Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart
Pause at each CHEW step below. Reflect, and answer in your own words—you’ll see a sample below each question. This is where the Gospel gets personal.
C – Consider: Be Honest About the Pain
Question:
What is one specific moment of suffering or horror—past or present—where you quietly feel, “If God loved me, He would never have allowed that”?
Sample answer:
“Honestly, when I think about my child’s medical crisis, a part of me still feels betrayed by God. I nod along to ‘God is in control,’ but inside I’m thinking, ‘A loving God wouldn’t let kids suffer like that.’”
Your turn:
Name the moment or season. Put real words to the quiet accusation in your heart.
H – Hear: Let God’s Word Interrupt the Lie
Question:
What lie about God’s character shows up when you think about that event, and what specific Scripture pushes back?
Sample answer:
“The lie is, ‘God can’t be loving and allow this much pain.’ But Romans 8:32 tells me, ‘He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?’ That means whatever He allowed, He did so as the same Father who chose to suffer for me first.”
Your turn:
Name the lie in a sentence, then write a verse that speaks a better word about who God is with you in that story.
E – Exchange: Trade Your Perspective for His Promise
Question (must use this exact template):
“If I really believed God’s love is wise, patient, and as committed to my eternal joy as He is to Jesus’ glory, how would that change my struggle with why He allowed this suffering?”
Sample answer:
“If I really believed God’s love is wise, patient, and as committed to my eternal joy as He is to Jesus’ glory, I would stop demanding that He give me an explanation on my timetable. I’d start asking, ‘Lord, how do You want me to trust and love in the middle of this?’ instead of ‘Why did You do this?’ I’d loosen my grip on trying to control outcomes for my family and coworkers and lean more into being present, honest, and loving, trusting that He sees ripple effects I never will.”
Your turn:
Answer the Exchange question in your own words. Be concrete about what would shift in your heart, your decisions, and how you treat the people around you.
W – Walk: Take One Small Step of Trusting Love
Question:
What is one small, concrete action you can take this week that says, “God, I trust Your wise love here,” and helps you love someone else better in the middle of the unresolved “why”?
Sample answer:
“This week, instead of hiding my questions, I’ll tell a trusted friend from church the real story and ask them to pray with me. And I’ll choose to show extra patience to a struggling team member at work—not because I understand God’s plan, but because His patient love with me gives me room to be patient with them.”
Your turn:
Write down one relational step—an honest conversation, an apology, an act of mercy, a way of showing up—that embodies trust in God’s love right inside the mystery you still don’t understand.
Ways to Experience God’s Love When You Don’t Understand His “Why”
Here’s how you can actively trust and experience God’s love—not just work harder.
1. Bring Your Hardest “Why” into Prayer, Not Performance
Why this helps:
When you bring the ugliest, rawest questions directly to God, you’re treating Him as a Father, not a boss grading your faith. Honest lament is an act of trust: you’re choosing His presence over your own self-protection. This opens your heart to experience His love as patient and personal, not cold and clinical, and it softens you to be more patient with others’ questions too.
How:
- Set aside 10–15 minutes with no phone.
- Write a prayer that starts, “Father, this is what I don’t understand…”
- Name the event, what you wish He had done instead, and how you feel.
- End by reading a Psalm of lament (like Psalm 13 or Psalm 42) out loud.
- Ask Him, “Meet me here, even if You don’t explain everything.”
Scenario:
A senior project manager pulls into his driveway, sits in the car, and instead of going straight inside to distract himself with chores, opens his journal and writes out his anger over a past betrayal. He reads Psalm 13, lets a few tears fall, and whispers, “I don’t get You, but I’m coming to You.”
What outcomes you can expect:
Over time, you’ll feel less pressure to “clean yourself up” before talking with God and more freedom to approach Him as a loving Father in the middle of the mess. That authenticity with Him translates into more empathy and honesty in your relationships, creating space for healing conversations and clearer priorities.
2. Meditate on the Cross as God’s Answer to “Do You Care?”
Why this helps:
The cross is God’s permanent answer to whether He is willing to step into horror for your sake. When you fix your attention there, your heart starts to connect His love for Jesus with His love for you. That connection undercuts the suspicion that He is detached from your suffering and fuels a deeper worship that spills into how you treat others.
How:
- Read Romans 8:31–39 slowly, out loud.
- Pause specifically at verse 32 and repeat it several times.
- Picture the Father not sparing His own Son for you.
- Tell God where your story still seems incompatible with that love.
- End by thanking Him for one concrete way the cross speaks into your specific pain.
Scenario:
A consulting director, exhausted after another difficult client call, sits on her balcony with a Bible. She reads Romans 8, lingers over verse 32, and wrestles with the fact that the God who gave His Son also allowed her devastating miscarriage. She doesn’t get answers, but she feels a fresh, tearful sense that He is not indifferent.
What outcomes you can expect:
You may not get clearer explanations, but you’ll gain a more solid anchor: “Whatever I don’t see, I know He went to the cross for me.” That assurance can quiet some of the frantic inner bargaining and make you more stable and gentle in your leadership and family life.
3. Remember: Your Perspective Is Not the Reference Point
Why this helps:
When you assume that your understanding is the standard by which God must explain Himself, you end up chronically angry or anxious. Consciously shifting the reference point back to God’s infinite wisdom and holiness humbles you without crushing you. It reminds you that if you had His view and His love, you would choose His way, which makes trust more plausible.
How:
- Memorize Proverbs 3:5–6 and Romans 11:33.
- When you hit a “why” wall, say, “Lord, Your wisdom, not mine, is the reference point.”
- Visualize standing next to a massive waterfall of wisdom and love you can’t see the bottom of.
- Acknowledge, “I am a creature, not the Creator.”
- Ask God for the next faithful step, not the full explanation.
Scenario:
An IT executive, facing a sudden layoffs decision from upper management, feels powerless and angry. During lunch, he steps away, recites Proverbs 3:5–6 under his breath, and admits, “God, I would run this differently, but I am not You. Show me how to care well for the people in front of me.”
What outcomes you can expect:
Over time, this posture lowers your internal temperature. You become less reactive, less controlling, and more focused on doing the next faithful, loving thing. Colleagues and family experience you as steadier and more compassionate, which often opens doors for deeper conversations and clearer influence.
4. Practice “Trust Muscles” in Small Daily Decisions
Why this helps:
Trust is not built only in dramatic crises; it is strengthened through daily reps—choosing to act as if God is wise and loving when the stakes feel smaller. Practicing trust in the “little” things makes it more natural to lean into Him when bigger storms hit. It also shapes how you respond to others’ weaknesses and failures.
How:
- Pick one daily anxiety (an email, a meeting, a bill).
- Before acting, pray, “Father, You see this. Help me trust Your wisdom and love.”
- Make one decision that reflects trust rather than fear (e.g., honesty instead of spin, generosity instead of hoarding).
- Notice how you speak to others afterward—aim for gentleness, not control.
- At the end of the day, review where you saw His faithfulness.
Scenario:
A marketing manager worries about presenting underwhelming numbers to the executive team. Instead of exaggerating projections, she prays briefly, presents the truth, and treats her team with kindness afterward rather than venting irritation.
What outcomes you can expect:
You’ll slowly experience that God meets you in ordinary trust, not just crisis faith. As your trust grows, your relationships will feel safer and less transactional, which leads to more authentic collaboration and clearer vocational decisions.
5. Invite One Trusted Believer into the “Why” with You
Why this helps:
God often mediates His comforting, wise love through other believers. Letting someone else see your unresolved questions and pain is a practical way of saying, “I believe God can meet me through His people.” This breaks isolation, reduces shame, and models grace-based honesty for them too.
How:
- Identify one mature, gospel-centered friend, mentor, or pastor.
- Ask if they have space to listen to a hard story without trying to fix it.
- Share the specific event and the questions you carry.
- Ask them to pray with you, not just for you.
- Check in again in a few weeks with any shifts or ongoing struggles.
Scenario:
A healthcare professional reaches out to a friend from his small group and says, “I need to talk about why I’m angry with God over what happened to my patient.” They meet at a coffee shop, he shares through tears, and his friend mostly listens and prays, “Lord, show him Your heart right here.”
What outcomes you can expect:
You’ll experience God’s love as tangible solidarity, not just ideas. This often strengthens friendships, encourages others to be honest about their own suffering, and helps you see more clearly where God is already at work in your story.
6. Actively Love Someone in the Middle of Your Unanswered Questions
Why this helps:
When suffering turns you inward, it’s easy to believe that nothing good can come through you until you “get answers.” Choosing to love someone while your questions remain is an act of faith: you’re trusting that God’s love can flow through cracked vessels. This shifts you from self-absorption to Spirit-led compassion.
How:
- Ask, “Lord, who around me is hurting or under pressure?”
- Choose one concrete act: a meal, a text, a note, covering a task, or simply unhurried listening.
- Offer it quietly, without making it about your story.
- Pray for them afterward, asking God to meet them in ways you can’t.
- Notice how serving in weakness changes your view of God’s presence.
Scenario:
A finance professional grieving a broken engagement decides to bring a meal to a coworker whose parent is in the hospital. She doesn’t explain her own story, but she shows up, listens, and later prays for them on her commute.
What outcomes you can expect:
You may notice that your pain doesn’t shrink, but it becomes less defining. Loving others from your place of weakness often deepens your empathy and gives you surprising clarity about what truly matters in your schedule, goals, and leadership.
7. Name Where You See Even Tiny Glimpses of Redemption
Why this helps:
You may never see all the ripple effects of a particular suffering, but you often can see small hints of God bringing good out of evil. Naming these glimpses trains your heart to expect His redemptive creativity, not because everything becomes “worth it,” but because nothing is wasted in His hands.
How:
- Once a week, ask: “Where have I seen any good fruit that wouldn’t exist without that painful season?”
- Write down even small things: increased empathy, a new relationship, deeper prayer, wiser boundaries.
- Thank God specifically for each glimpse.
- Tell Him where it still doesn’t feel like enough.
- Keep a running list you revisit monthly.
Scenario:
An entrepreneur who lost a business due to betrayal recognizes that, because of that season, he now instinctively cares for younger founders facing disappointment. He writes this down and thanks God for the capacity to comfort others, even as he still grieves the loss.
What outcomes you can expect:
Your heart becomes more attuned to God’s quiet, ongoing work rather than fixated only on what went wrong. This perspective can give you courage to make strategic decisions, take wise risks, and invest in relationships with an eye toward eternity, not just immediate payoff.
8. Practice Saying, “I Don’t Know Why—But I Know Who”
Why this helps:
Admitting “I don’t know” while affirming “I know His heart” is a mature expression of faith, not a cop-out. It keeps you grounded in reality while anchoring you in God’s revealed character. This simple phrase can reshape how you talk to yourself, your family, and your colleagues about suffering.
How:
- When someone asks why something happened, resist the urge to speculate.
- Say, “I honestly don’t know why. But I do know this about who God is…” and share one concrete truth (e.g., the cross, His nearness, His justice).
- Use the same phrase in your own prayers.
- Let it become a shorthand in your home or team culture.
- Pair the phrase with a willingness to listen and lament with others.
Scenario:
A leader in a church-based nonprofit is asked by a staff member why God allowed their funding to collapse. Instead of offering quick answers, he says, “I don’t know why this happened. But I do know God has not abandoned us, and He’s the same God who gave His Son for us. Let’s ask Him together what faithfulness looks like next.”
What outcomes you can expect:
This stance fosters humility, honesty, and hope in your circles of influence. People learn that it’s okay to wrestle without pretending, which often leads to deeper connection, healthier decision-making, and a culture that leans on God instead of image management.
Worship Response: Turn Gratitude into Worship
Take 30 seconds—thank God for what His love has done. Worship is responding to His finished work, even when your feelings lag behind.
Prayer:
Father, thank You that Your wisdom and love are bigger than my understanding, and that You proved Your heart for me by not sparing Your own Son. Thank You that You see every ripple of my story across eternity and that You never allow suffering carelessly or from a distance. I worship You as the God whose ways are higher than mine and whose love for me is tied to Your love for Jesus. Teach me to trust You when I don’t get the “why,” and let that trust make me more patient, compassionate, and courageous in loving the people around me. Let any healing, growth, and clarity that come be clear fruit of Your love at work in me, not trophies of my effort. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Next Steps to Grow in God’s Love
Lasting change is always relational—God moves, we respond. Share your story, join a CHEW group, or reach out for prayer.
- The 1st Principle Transformation Framework (Overview Article)
- https://www.1stprinciplegroup.com (use or adjust to your actual framework URL)
- Explore how God’s love, truth, and presence reframe your whole story, including suffering, and how that can overflow into wiser, more loving leadership at home and work.
- CHEW On This™: How to Formulate a CHEW Question
- https://www.1stprinciplegroup.com/chew-question-library (use actual URL)
- Use this resource to craft daily CHEW questions that bring your hardest “why” places under the light of God’s wise, steadfast love and translate that into relational change.
- The Daily CHEW™ Email or Group
- https://www.1stprinciplegroup.com/daily-chew (use actual URL)
- Receive regular prompts to move God’s love from head to heart, especially in confusing seasons, and process them with others who are learning to trust Him in the middle of suffering.
(Optional external)
4. Book: “Trusting God” by Jerry Bridges
- https://www.navpress.com
- A biblically rich exploration of God’s sovereignty, wisdom, and love in suffering, helping you wrestle honestly while being anchored in the cross and God’s character.
With you on the journey,
Ryan
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