The Daily CHEW™
Moving God’s Love from Head to Heart for Christian Professionals
He was a professor — brilliant, respected, deeply committed to his faith. Seven children. A wife who loved him. From the outside, the family looked strong. But one day he said something out loud that he had been carrying quietly for months: “I feel extremely disconnected from my own kids.”
His oldest daughter was two years from college. She was compliant and respectful — but distant. When he offered Daddy-Daughter dates, she would go. She would hardly speak. One-word answers. Polite smiles. No pushback, no drama — and no connection. The realization hit him hard: he did not really know his children. Not what makes them tick. Not how they view their own lives. Not their story — the way they actually experienced being raised by him.
So the family did something brave. They took personality assessments — the same kind used in corporate teams — and built a family map so everyone could see how they were wired differently and how those differences could become strengths instead of friction. They did exercises together that had the whole family laughing — the 7-year-old could not stay in her chair. They answered questions every parent would want the answers to, framed safely enough for kids to share honestly.
Then came the deeper work. Over four sessions, the parents told their story in a way that was appropriate for the children to hear. Then the children told theirs — how they viewed their lives, the events that shaped them, the things they had never said out loud. The room shifted in a way that no lecture, no family devotional, and no vacation had ever produced.
At the end, they were asked what had changed. The oldest daughter — the one who gave one-word answers on every Daddy-Daughter date — looked at her father and said: “I didn’t think I realized how much I wanted this. But I am glad to finally know my dad more.”
The professor teared up. He told her he loved her. She welled up with tears. His wife welled up. The twin 14-year-old boys glanced at each other, not sure what to do. The younger children watched with wide eyes. It was the kind of moment that only happens when a family is brave enough to stop assuming they know each other and start actually learning.
In the final session, each family member said one thing to each person that stands out about them in a way that builds them up. Then they talked about how to carry forward what they gained. Saturday’s anchor — The Leader Everyone Trusts — taught seven trust practices for teams. This family discovered that every one of those practices applies at the dinner table too — especially Practice 6: Be Appropriately Vulnerable and Let Them Hear Your Heart. That professor’s willingness to say “I don’t know my own kids” was the most courageous leadership move he made all year.
Clarity
Is there someone in my family — a child, a spouse, a sibling — where I have assumed connection but have never actually asked for their story?
Hear
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). God does not say manage your children. He says bring them up — which requires knowing who they are becoming, not just what they are doing. Scripture reveals that instruction without understanding provokes. God reshapes families when leaders pursue knowing before directing.
Exchange
If I really believed God’s love is relational enough that He designed families to be known — not just managed — how would that change the way I pursue the person in my home I understand the least?
Walk (30–90 seconds)
Name the family member you know about but do not truly know. Before this week ends, ask one question you have never asked: “What is one thing about your life right now that you wish I understood better?” Then stay quiet long enough to hear the answer. If this is the only thing I do from this CHEW today, it is enough.
With you on the journey,
Ryan
If you had to put this into one sentence for today, what would you say God is inviting you to rest in or return to?
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