The Friend Who Isn’t Fooled by Your Résumé

You have people who know your title, your win rate, and your calendar. You may not have a single person who knows what’s actually going on underneath any of it. Somewhere between the first promotion and the corner office, most high-performing believers trade real friendship for a very well-managed reputation.

C.H.E.W. with Me

New here? What is CHEW? — a 30-second practice that grows into a day woven with God’s love.

C – Clarity: You Have Contacts. Do You Have a Witness?

You could probably list a dozen people who would write you a glowing professional reference, and not one who actually knows how you are right now. Somewhere along the way, “professional relationships” quietly replaced friendships that actually see you. Think about the last time someone asked how you were doing and you answered with your calendar instead of your soul.

H – Hear: Counsel That Comes From Knowing Your Soul, Not Your Slide Deck

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9)

This line sits inside Solomon’s court wisdom, later copied and preserved by King Hezekiah’s officials (Proverbs 25:1) — written for people carrying exactly this kind of public weight: leaders, officials, anyone whose reputation could easily crowd out real relationship. The phrase behind “earnest counsel” is, more literally, counsel “from the soul” — advice that comes from someone who actually knows your inner self, not a peer offering an opinion from the outside. Oil and perfume were luxury items in Solomon’s world; the proverb is saying that kind of friend is just as rare, not because such people don’t exist, but because almost no one lets anyone get that close. And underneath every human friend who has ever loved you like that is God’s own love toward you — He has always known your soul completely, the parts your résumé doesn’t mention, and has never once turned away from what He found there.

E – Exchange: Trading Curated Contacts for One Actual Witness

What has to be exchanged is the instinct to keep every relationship polished and professional, for the discomfort of letting one person see past it.

Because God’s love is like a friend who counsels you from fully knowing your soul, how does that change who you let get close enough to know yours?

W – Walk: Send One Message That Isn’t About Work

Text or call one person today — not a colleague you manage, not a client — someone who could actually tell the truth about how you’re doing. Ask them one specific question about their own soul, then let them ask you the same.

Weekly practical tool — Three Questions Script (God is this month’s featured relationship)Send this to one trusted friend today, and answer it yourself before you hit send:

1. What’s actually true about you right now that your calendar doesn’t show?
2. Where has God’s love felt far away lately — even if you still believe it’s true?
3. What’s one thing you’re carrying that you haven’t said out loud to anyone yet?

Closing question: Who in your life actually knows your soul, and when did you last connect with them?